THE IN BETWEEN

It’s been 9 months since we arrived in New Zealand ready for an adventure.

Nine months!! January to September and yet, it still seems like we’re just ‘settling in’.

 

It’s an interesting time frame, don’t you think?

I’d envisioned many hours writing blogs, posting about our ventures, but for some reason, I’ve been hesitant. It wasn’t until my friend back in the west approached me to do an interview for her amazing blog ‘Into The Clearing” that it got me to thinking about this year away. I began to churn things over.

Although spring has sprung, the ground here is still cold. Mornings are frosty and there’s still snow on the mountains and even though the nights are icy, the mornings are brighter now.

Flowers are pushing their way through the dirt and many have bloomed bright and beautiful, but then there’s always those ones that take a little longer, they wait for warmer days.

In comparison, it takes nine months for a wee baby to come into this world. Some hesitate to make their entry on time. I feel like I should be blossoming better than I am right now, that there’s more for me in this space. It’s a strange feeling. Am I one of those ‘late bloomers’ or am I caught in the in-between?

So spring always gets me thinking and while this ‘gap year’ adventure has been a wonderful experience, I’m still longing for that ‘at home, at peace’ feeling. It looks like this ‘gap year’ may stretch longer than I’d anticipated and perhaps this is the reason for my reluctance to bloom.

The question is, is this ‘in-between’ my real life? Should I stop looking? Is it ok to just ‘be’ here in this space or do I need to push through this transition?

I seem to be ever longing for something that’s not coming! I’m beginning to think that there’s a lesson I may well have not learned yet. Maybe what I’m longing for won’t arrive until I reach my heavenly home or is there a moment here when I will know and say “Ah, yes, this is it!”.

I’m encouraged by the story I know from the good book, about Abraham. He became a sojourner in the land of promise, a land not his own. I guess he, like me, was looking for something too.  He dwelt in tents, with his kids, moving, watching, waiting for the promise: He was looking for a city, whose builder and maker was God and in the meantime, God provided all that he needed and he was pretty well looked after. 

I wonder if he felt like I do too, caught between persevering and promise? I wonder if he longed to put all his family photo’s on a wall or plant a tree and watch it grow?

This in-between isn’t so bad. There’s beauty everywhere if we’re willing to see.

And so, I, like Abraham (or his wife, Sarah) am sojourning here in New Zealand, an Adult Gap Year Moving from house to house. Housesitting here, housesitting there. I do have a little room in a family home when we’re not looking after someone else’s home, with a bed, a dresser and a wooden box at the foot of our bed. A few clothes hang in the little closet where our suitcase lays below, waiting to be filled for our next sojourn. It’s a simple life and it’s ok for a time.

 

 

I’m loving the adventure,

but, seriously, I do hope I get across the ‘Jordan River’ and see the promise I so long for.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “THE IN BETWEEN

  1. This has been such a help to me. I try to feel settled but there is always a “waiting” a touch of wanderlust that can’t be fulfilled due to circumstances. You words “ between persevering and promise” resonated with me, I think that’s my answer. The promise is getting much closer than it used to be, I must begin to look eagerly for it to arrive while all the time enjoying the persevering. Thank you Steph for your insight. Keep enjoying your gap year— or two!

    1. So glad it helped. I’ve had an interesting week coming up to writing this blog and then after, quite difficult but feeling I was being challenged, hence why I was asking the questions. A friend I respect made a comment that got me thinking more deeply about this ‘space’ i find myself in. Funnily enough, before her comment, the service we attended on Sunday also added more to my thoughts and I found myself saying out loud ‘Lord, I need to push against my life narrative and through this transition’ where I seem to be stuck and even tho I feel quite exhausted, it was as if something was saying, if this is to change then there will need to be some intentional pushing against the ‘status quo’ of how our life has always been. I don’t think it will be easy but in the pushing, strength will come. It’s business time, time to change some thinking and move forward. Hope that make sense. I’ll tag you in the comment and maybe you can watch the message that has challenged me. (I’m still processing it , but I think it rings true in my situation)
      xx Steph

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