Letting Go

It seems my life is full of ‘letting go’ moments and I wonder to myself is this the same for others?

My head, so full of dreams and in particular, one little dream (my little secret).  Somehow, I find the dreams I have dreamt (and in particular that secret one) seem always to be just out of reach and  I’m torn between fanning into flame or letting go of these flickering little lights.

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The ‘bitter sweet’ angst of what to do?

Hold tight to faith and hope, moving slowly forward or should I just ‘wrap these little babies in a bubble and let them float gently away?’

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To bloom or not to bloom – If only it were that easy.

Entwined so securely in my heart, not wanting to dislodge…..is hat secret one!

I’m trying to let go but somewhere in my heart I feel like I’m giving up and abandoning the very essence of who I am and who I was made to be.  It just won’t leave!

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If I could truly let go, perhaps I could live  ‘IN this moment’ – in the moment quite completely and and possibly embrace rest more completely, stop yearning for something that may never be…. or worst still, perhaps was never meant for me?

And then, perhaps my friends would think of me – a little floating fairy or better still, angelic…. peaceful…restful…..if you know me you would also know that this would not be possible and I think that should this be so, I may just find myself so at rest that I would float off into a sea of deathly silence, a sea of not caring, a listless sea of “Ce Sera”! (from the Italian language-you can say it like this…..  “KAY– SER–RAH“) in other words “what ever will be will be“.

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At every ‘letting go’ turn I have agony and ecstasy both dropping their little lines into my pond. ….Agony telling me in her sweet sarcastic tone … ‘look at them, embracing their dreams…so much better than you and then dear sweet Ecstasy, gently encouraging me with her unexpected messages that seem to pop up at every turn ‘you go girl, never too old, never give up’.

And that is my dilemma and yet still I have peace.