A Christmas Gift

Three and a half years in waiting and the door opens.

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Not everyone would consider an operation a gift, but for us, it is a long awaited door and the beginning of a new day.  We almost can’t believe it, we’ve waited so long, everything hinging on this day and as Christmas approaches a sigh of great relief falls from our lips.

Waiting Resting Expecting

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It’s a slow mend and with it comes more emotion.

I left him on that table yet again and the tears of relief wouldn’t seem to stop. Then the nagging thoughts of ‘will this make any difference and what about the risks?” I can’t even think about that.  Hoping for the best but fear the surgeons words might be true ‘this won’t fix any thing, it will only make him safe’.  He shows us the irreparable damage and the stark truth screams at us,  but still we believe.

IMG_0029_2Why do we still believe against all odds?

Why do we continue to hope after all this?

BECAUSE HE DELIGHTS IN US

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HE DELIGHTS IN US!  I’m reading this and I’m feeling this. I’m reading David’s song in a book called Samuel and I’m feeling God’s overwhelming presence rushing in.  Today it’s almost tangible.

I can see Him coming to our aid like never before.  He’s angry with the one who has tried to destroy us.  I’m crying and I realise I need not fear.

My Rock – My Fortress  – My Deliverer – My Refuge – My Shield –  My Salvation – My – Stronghold – My Saviour – My Rescuer – My Supporter – My Holder – My Strengthener

IMG_0115_2HE HEARS ME AND WHEN HE DOES HE’S ANGRY, HE’S POWERFUL

The earth trembles, quakes and there’s fire coming from His mouth, smoke from His nostrils.  The heavens part and he’s coming on the Cherubim to help ME just like he did for David.

PICTURE IT – I DO AND IM HUMBLED BY HIS POWER.  HOW COULD I EVER DOUBT THAT HE’S HAD THIS COVERED ALL ALONG JUST LIKE HE PROMISED?

Rain and Thunder as his voice booms out.

He shoots arrows and the enemy scatters, gone, they run they scour as bolts of lightening chase them. The scene is pandemonium but we’re on the winning side. No fear here.

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AND THEN THROUGH THE CHAOS, GENTLY, HIS HAND REACHES DOWN FROM ON HIGH

IMG_0123_2He Holds

He Lifts

He Rescues

IMG_0109_2He carries us to a SPACIOUS place, a safe place far from trouble, far from pain.

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We are so frail, fickle and oft times faithless.

 

Why is his heart moved to help us?

 

BECAUSE HE DELIGHTS IN US, I’ll say it again

HE DELIGHTS IN US

I believe it.

Read it all in 2 Samual 22:1-50

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Turning Tides

IT’S BEEN A WHILE, A LONG WHILE
WAITING FOR TIDES TO TURN

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AND IN THE WAITING, I couldn’t write.

No words. They wouldn’t come.

If they did come, they didn’t warrant pen to paper.   I silently withdrew and silently decided that three years would be enough.  So I planned the celebration, and blew upon hope.

A declaration I suppose. Something to mark the end of this season. IMG_0085_2

So we readied ourselves for this family adventure.IMG_0073_2

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IMG_0081_2I booked tickets. A Light shining at the end of this long dim lit road knowing full well that only HE could bring the light.

You will light our candle

You the Lord our God will enlighten our darkness.IMG_9401IMG_0058_2

And He did. Many times along the road, before this celebration, throwing us a life line that said “hold on, it’s going to be OK…. trust me”.

And then, with only weeks to go, we realised that our celebration was only to be another life line.  Another “hold on”. But what a grand and blessed “hold on” it was. There’s a story in Exodus – on the road out of Egypt.  They’d had enough.  They’d been grumbling just as we have from time to time.  God, the all knowing one, already knew they’d need a break and just up ahead they were to discover 12 springs and 70 palm trees, a nice place to stop and recoup
for the next leg of the journey.  He called it “Elim”.

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Perfect Peace

WE sheltered under the palm tree of this adventure. How thankful I am for “Elims” on this journey.  Not the final destination but a good place to catch one’s breath.  A good chance to be filled, refreshed, a good place to exhale. Peace.

Elim Over

And now I wonder at this feeling.  This sense of tides turning and this season ending, maybe just as suddenly as it began and with it a new season starting for us – together, with my man, I’m not alone. IMG_0120_2

In just days we will get news of our future. “Lord let it not be another test of this faith”,  furnace fired faith.  And yet, as I say this, I know of many who have seen the fire again and again and if our fire isn’t over we will be ok.

I know He’s been with us in the fire – just like he was with those three boys all those years back.

IMG_0017_2Thankful for our small fire. Thankful for their story. Thankful they didn’t give up their faith and serve another.

How easy it would be to give up, to serve self when the fire gets too hot and say ‘what about me, don’t you see, don’t you know how hard this is?’ but it’s never all about ME.  This has to have greater purpose. This almost laughable fire after fire has to be for a reason or it be futile.

JUST NOW I remember those words spoken over us.  We sat overlooking that pond.  The one in the KINGS Park so many days back….DSCN1635

“You’re going to come through this, I can see it, I can see the road and it has many bends many turns. It’s not going to be a straight road but you’re going to make it, you’re going to make it”

She could see it and I could hear God in her voice.

IMG_0061_2IMG_0068_2And so the winding road leads us home and like a flower unfolding I can feel something happening. IMG_0067_2I’m peeking out from my safe haven, the hiding place I’ve withdrawn to and I’m hoping I’ve got the strength not to retreat so I can say, or perhaps even sing  “This is my story , this is my Song”

Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest;
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

We trust in our God  WE WILL NOT BE SHAKEN