Leaning

Tonight I’m sitting here quietly pondering the events of the past week.
Pondering what to write. I want to write something, anything.
I have so much to say but I feel restrained. It’s not time yet.

But I can say this…
Tho it’s been blow after blow, we’re still standing.
Tho we’ve had knock after knock, we’re still praising.
And tho we’re staring down the face of yet another giant we’re leaning evermore closely on the arms of love and feeling safe, feeling comforted.

Love coming from everywhere and I mean everywhere.
Overwhelmed by love.
Unworthy.

And as I sit here looking at the blank page words begin to sound in my ears. It’s the tune of an old hymn.

It flows from my lips.

“Leaning, Leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms”
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So I google and find the words, wonderful words.

I picture my grandma in her white uniform standing by the old church pew with a smile straight from heaven and I sing the words with her and smile back.

“Leaning, Leaning safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning , leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms”

Uncanny how those words seem to ring comfort, heaven’s comfort and as I’m singing and being comforted I notice a verse on the screen.
I click.
I cry.

Deuteronomy 33:27
“The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms: and HE shall thrust out the enemy before you and shall say; Destroy them!”

I’m taken back to that day in Malaysia, disaster day.
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Afraid, looking for God. Asking, “where are you” and on that day I hear him whisper “underneath are His everlasting arms” and HE knows “god with skin on” is coming https://cottagedreams.wordpress.com/2014/02/24/god-with-skin-on/

I hear those words all over again and they help me lean in closer.

And for the time being, I like it here.
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Hope

What a journey
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All year I kept thinking this season will soon end and things will get better – we can begin planning for a new season and these days at my piano, singing all these ‘wilderness songs’ will soon end.

I’m still singing, still storing up treasure, still finding solace in times alone with God….and the months, tho hard, have seen me find streams in this desert, digging wells in this valley.

Still despair days, sometimes hope deferred kind of despair.
Nothing we can do can change our circumstance. Heartfelt prayers for a healthy husband, a longing for a more comfortable life and yearning for time and space… but deep down I know this season is a divine season, one that can’t be fast tracked.

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But that word…
HOPE continues to ring in our ears, it’s sound drowning out despair.

Hold fast to hope. Don’t throw your confidence away, HOPE.
Something is about to give…..NO hopelessness!
HOPE.

Then a few weeks back, suddenly I could feel this hope rising again right in the midst of all this. A sense that very soon the tide would turn and something would give and I thought the end was in sight!

It wasn’t the end but it was HOPE
HOPE is a wonderful thing.
It was just to be an exhilarating pause on a long and tiresome journey.
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And just like i sensed, break thru came. Just like a burst of sunshine.

A breath from God to blow away some of this struggle. Enough to fuel us for the next leg of the journey.
Joy in the Valley
Springs in the desert.

This simple expectation that very soon tides would turn that had us laughing again in the face of this giant. What a pleasant change from tears….pool tears.

AND WE WAITED IN QUIET EXPECTATION
FAITH emerged from the ashes, the substance of HOPE unfolded and the EVIDENCE of things unseen appeared before our eyes…God’s LOVE for us, so grateful.

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New strength to keep laughing in the face of these giants as they try to grow at an ever increasing rate. But God will have the last say on this matter, AND SO WE REST.

Our weakness wrapped up in His strength.
STAYING STRONG